New milestone reached!

Well, just a small post to celebrate the fact that the site has reached 300 hits today! Woohoo! It wasn't very long ago that we reached 200 hits, so the hit rate is definitely accelerating.

To celebrate, here's another pic' from Ultraviolet. The official site for the movie lists the release date as March 3rd, but the BBC's Film 2006 diary lists the release date as June 30th. So, either one is wrong, or, more likely, it's released in the US in March and the UK in June. If that's the case then you have to wonder if Sony Pictures actually care about combatting DVD piracy at all. The fact that we in the UK have to wait for so long for some movies is absurd. I've known some films get an official DVD release in the US before being released in theatre's here. How much of a gift to pirates is that? People, don't buy pirate DVDs, they're rubbish! Studios, stop making UK film lovers wait for months and months longer than our friends in the US!

A Serious Moment

I'm sorry to interrupt the fun with such a serious post, and it's always been my intention to keep things generally lighthearted here, but 9-11 was truly the defining moment of our generation. There can be no doubt that the world has been a darker and more dangerous place since the collapse of the Twin Towers and as such I feel it's imperative that we know what truly happened on that day.

To that end I'm posting this link:

BYU's Dr Steven Jones Blows The Roof Off A Utah Auditorium

It clearly sets out some of the major flaws with the official story, and, more importantly, these are not the ravings of some conspiracy nut, but the considered opinion of a physics professor. This is a man who knows what is and is not physically possible and should not be ignored. These are the facts.


Thank you for your time, normal service will resume shortly...

Movie Previews: 2006

I had originally planned to write a look back at the movies of 2005 but that never really got off the ground. So, instead, I thought we’de take a look forward to what’s coming to our local cinemas in 2006, and a sneak peak at 2007 too. This is by no means a comprehensive list of every release in the coming year. I’ve gone through month by month, and week by week, and picked out the films that have caught my interest, I doubt I’ll get to see them all, and I’ll probably end up seeing a few films that aren’t on the list.

2006 Movie Preview

February

17th

Aeon Flux

This live action adaptation of the classic MTV commissioned cartoon doesn’t look like it’s going to live up to the original. It stars Charlize Theron, who I’ve never been a big fan of. Of course, going in with low expectations means that I’m certainly not going to be disappointed.

Casanova

Ok, I’ll admit that the only reason I want to see this is for Sienna Miller, but, then, my wife wants to see it for Heath Ledger, so we’re fairly even. Maybe it’ll be good, but, hey, who cares, it’s Sienna Miller.

24th

Date Movie

At the risk of sounding totally shallow, my main reason for wanting to see this Alyson Hannigan. But, it is written and directed by two of the six writers of Scary Movie, and the trailers look fairly funny, so we’ll see.

Seven Swords

This is a 17^th century Chinese epic about a village who seek the help of a master swordsman and his disciples after the martial arts are banned by the ruling Ching Dynasty. Likely to be one of those blink and you’ll miss it foreign films at your local multiplex but looks well worth a watch.

March

3^rd

Mirrormask

By “comicbook genius Dave McKean” according to the BBC’s website (it’s written by Neil Gaiman…), this follows a 15 year old girl’s fairytale quest for the Mirrorwask. From Henson Productions….Gaiman….Henson…now this has to be worth watching.

10^th

Evil Aliens

British comedy horror set on a remote Welsh island…definitely one to see with the brother-in-law rather than the wife.

17^th

V for Vendetta

Long awaited big screen version of Alan Moore’s graphic novel starring Natalie Portman. I confess, I haven’t read it, although I’m surprised that this has made it to the screen before Watchmen.

The Pink Panther

Why have I included this on the list? I grew up with my dad constantly quoting the original and Steve Martin is playing with fire by trying to step into Sellers’ shoes. Could be truly awful.

She’s The Man

Another in a long line of Hollywood teen movies that are updates of Shakespeare plays. This time it’s Twelfth Night and Amanda Bynes stars as a girl and her brother.

31^st

Slither

New film directed by the writer of Dawn of the Dead. A virus transform those infected into monsters. Hopefully another great zombie-style horror flick.

Yours, Mine and Ours

Imagine Cheaper by the Dozen with six more children meets The Brady Bunch, only the kids don’t get on and…oh god…why? What’s next? A family with 50 children? Totally, totally wrong. So…uh….why should you watch it? Danielle Panabaker, from Sky High. ‘Nuff said.

April

7^th

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

The first Ice Age movie was a surprise hit, and, I must say, my kids absolutely loved it. Hopefully this will recapture some of the magic of the first film, but, even if it’s rubbish, I’m sure it’ll amuse my kids again.

Alien Autopsy

Ant & Dec make their big screen debut. Seems to be a bit of an X-Files spoof. Only a decade late, then, lads.

14^th

Scary Movie 4

We have a strange kind of affection for the Scary Movie series in our house. This one is likely to be just as bad/good as the others.

21^st

American Dreamz

Hugh Grant does Simon Cowell in this American political satire from the director of About A Boy. Whatever you think of him, Hugh’s always great.

28^th

Flight 93

I don’t want to see this, but I’m intriqued. The first (of many) movies based on the events of 9/11. Likely to be a pro-establishement piece supporting the official story of what happened. So…a total work of fiction like most Hollywood films.

Fearless

Jet Li in a biopic of a Chinese martial arts master. What’s not to love about this?

Tristan & Isolde

A medieval romance in the mold of Romeo and Juliet. One to take the girl/woman in your life to.

May

5^th

Mission Impossible III

Gah…Tom Cruise is evil….I’m boycotting this!

12^th

Aquamarine

Teenage girls find a mermaid. I reckon this is going to be one of the surprise hits of 2006. People love mermaids. 2006 is going to be the year of the mermaid.

19^th

The DaVinci Code

Hmmm, surely everyone’s read this? I’ve got no idea how they can turn this book into a film well. Every line of dialogue in the novel is followed by about eight pages of exposition. So, the film will either make no sense to someone who hasn’t read the book, or will bear no resemblance to the book whatsoever. I didn’t like the book that much anyway. It’s very silly, and too many annoying people have confused it with non-fiction.

26^th

X-Men 3

Yay! Woohoo! At last! The summer finally arrives with the movie we’ve all been waiting for. Finally we get to see The Beast, Angel and, most importantly, Kitty Pryde on the big screen. With a new director and the general stigma attached to second sequels, this film is going to have a lot to prove. But it has Kitty, so who cares! (The list of good sequels keeps growing, so that there’s no longer such a stigma attached to any movie with a “2” next to…but can anyone give me a list of good “3” movies?).

Thief Lord

Based ona children’s novel by Cornelia Funke. I’ve not read it but my wife has and she loved it.

The Wild

Cgi fun with voices by Keifer Sutherland and Eddie Izzard. At last another film to take the kids to! It’s only when you have kids that you realise just how few kids films are actually released. It’s especially frustrating when you have small kids like me (4 and 2). The only kids films released last Christmas were Harry Potter and Narnia, neither of which were appropriate for my kids. So, you may hate this kind of family fayre, but some of us rely on it!

June

2^nd

Poseidon

Another film for the wife. The Poseiden Adventure is one of her favourite films and hopefully this remake will be just as good.

Things To Do Before You’re 30

I had to include this Billie Piper starring Brit-com in the list for one simple fact – it’s released almost exactly a month before I turn 30 myself! Gulp!

9^th

Omen 666

Hollywood continues to tread old group, particularly in the horror genere, with this remake of the first Omen film. Released, predictably, on the 6^th of the 6^th 2006. The idea of people preventing the end of the world seems just as absurd to me as the Christian right actively working to bring it about. But, still, should be good for a laugh and will outrage the fundamentalists, which is always a good thing.

16^th

Nothing good coming out this week, perfect opportunity to take your loved one out to dinner instead of seeing a film to head off those “I’m fed up with going to the cinema” complaints.

23^rd

The Benchwarmers

Rob Schneider ina film from the director of Happy Gilmore. An adam Sandler cameo is pretty much a certainty. Three no-hopers (surprise!) form a three man baseball team and take on kids. Um…yeah. Turn your brain off and enjoy.

The Lake House

Why did I include this?!? It stars Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves and a magic letterbox. Um…yeah…could be…oh…god…no…it’s going to be awful. I’ll probably end up seeing it anyway though.

30^th

Over The Hedge

More CGi animals! Yay! Kids love ‘em, god bless. This time they sound a lot like Bruce Willis and Jim Carey. Woot!

Ultraviolet

The sleeper hit of 2006. Milla Jovovich plays a futuristic vampire in this classy sci-fi romp. If you liked Underworld and Resident Evil then you’re going to love this. (And if you didn’t like them then what’s wrong with you?). This one will come out of nowhere to be a smash hit (you heard it here first).

July

7^th

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly, Pirates of the Caribbean. Everyone is going to go see this, it doesn’t need me to tell you how great the first film was. It’s like a religion for my wife, she’s forever lending out our DVD of the first film to anyone who hasn’t seen the light (ok…the movie) yet.

14^th

Superman Returns

Technically a sequel to Superman 2, Bryan Singer turned down X-Men 3 to direct the Man of Steel’s return to the big screen. Still, I guess we shouldn’t really hold that against him. This can’t really fail to be good, can it? The question is can Singer make the physical embodiement of truth, justice and the American way appeal to a wider world that’s increasingly falling out of love with the U.S. of A.?

21^st

Stormbreaker

This is being billed as a spy version of Harry Potter (although, I hate thosesort of comparisons…it’s based on a children’s book…so it has to be compared to Harry Potter…sigh). With Ewan McGregor, Bill Nighy and Alicia Silverstone on board we’ve at least got a great cast, but it’ll live or die on the strengths of its teenage lead.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

While I could take or leave the first film, I really enjoyed the second. It should have the requisite number of stupidly fast, stupidly modded cars and being set in Tokyo we can expect even more guady neon lights than before.

28^th

Cars

Pixar finally release their follow up to the smash hit that was The Incredibles with this movie about talking cars. I’ll be honest, I know almost nothing about this, but I own every other Pixar film on DVD, I love them, my kids love them, this’ll be great.

August

4^th

Ant Bully

Someone thought it would be a good idea to release a CGi toon movie at the same time that Pixar have one out. Someone at this studio needs a good kick in the head. Ant Bully may be brilliant, but no-one is going to go and see it, they’ll all be watching Cars. Stupid…..stupid… And I bet there’ll be nothing for my kids at Christmas again…

11^th

Nacho Libre

Jack Black, Mexican Wrestling, Catholic Priest. ‘Nuff said…

Super Ex-Girlfriend

The furthern we get into the year the more obscure the films get. In this film Uma Thurman plays a super-hero who breaks up with her boyfriend. That’s the premise. That’s it, right there. I have no idea….

18^th

Sin City 2

Why have I not seen Sin City yet? Surely that’s some kind of crime in and of itself? Anyway, I love the Frank Miller series, absulutely groundbreaking. I have to see the first film…this second is likely to be just as good. No struggling to come up with new ideas for a sequel here…

Lady in the Water

As I said, 2006 is the year of the mermaid, and now M. Night Shyamalan does mermaids. Presumably with a twist. Let’s see if we can all figure out what the twist is before we actually see the movie this time…

25^th

Another break in the schedule with nothing good on. Treat the wife/girlfriend/whatever to a nice meal out to head off those accusation that you never want to do anything but go to the cinema.

September

1^st

DOA

Can this really be a movie version of the popular beat ‘em up game featuring girls with impossibly large breasts and skimpy costumes? Can it really be starring Holly Valance? Apparently so. The mind boggles.

8^th

Nothing again! You might not want to take your partner out for a meal again so soon, so make the most of the last days of Summer and drive to the coast and enjoy fish and chips by the sea. Or maybe take a disposable barbecue and cook some sausages on the beach.

15^th

Southland Tales

The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith and Miranda Richardson in a musical thriller set in the near future from the director of Donnie Darko. No, I’m not making this up.

Talladega Nights: the ballad of Ricky Bobby

Will Ferrell reworks the Anchorman magic but this time with NASCAR…and Ali G.

22^nd

The Visiting

Nicole Kidman in yet another remake of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers. Surely there are other films to remake. Still, it’s a classic.

29^th

Rise

Revenge/Undead film starring Lucy Lui. Again, I’m not making this up, these are real films.

Click

Adam Sandler finds a mystical remote control with which he can fast forward and rewind his life. Comedy co-starring Kate Beckinsale. Sandler’s always funny, Beckinsale is always sexy. Not to be missed.

October

6^th

The Reaping

Hillary Swank plays a professional debunker who visits a town in texas suffering from the ten biblical plagues. I’m starting to think that Hollywood are employing some kind of random movie pitch generating software….

13^th

Open Season

Animated animals with Billy Connely and Ashton Kutcher….will have to really look good for me to suffer this.

Sunshine

Sci-fi from british director Danny Boyle. Spacemen go loopy on mission to the sun. Yes…it does sound familiar.

20^th

Barnyard

I’m going to be really sick of animated animals by the end of the year. Can someone please make a kid’s film that doesn’t involve animals? Please?!

27^th

Tenacious D

YES! Jack Black’s rock group make their big screen debut. They’re on a quest to find a magical pick that’ll transform them into rock gods. We heard them on the radio a few weeks ago and both turned to each other and said, “Waitaminute…is this Jack Black?” I think we’d watched School of Rock the night before. Jack Black rules. (Apart from in Kong Kong, of course).

November

3^rd

The Children Of Men

Sci-fi from Prisoner of Azkaban director Alfonso Cuaron. Should be good.

17^th

Casino Royale

Bond is back. Will probably be rubbish. Will have to suffer much “He’s not as sexy as Pierce” comments throughout.

December

15^th

Eragon

Dragons are cool. We have the book at home. Must read it….

2007

And on into the next year, I’m getting tired now…is anyone still reading???

Jan

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Yay! The Turtles are coming back to the big screen in glorious CGi. Kevin eastman and Peter Laird are both involve din the project which should ensure that it’s a real treat for old school Turtles fans like me.

Feb

Ghost Rider

Nicolas Cage sets his hair plugs alight in anotyher movie based on a Marvel character. What kind of a world do we live in where we get a Ghost Rider movie before an Iron Man movie? Actually, wasn’t it Tom Cruise’s fauly, ultimately, that the Iron Man movie never happened…another reason to hate him….

May

Spider-Man 3

Spidey’s back! Looks like The Sandman will be putting in an appearance but don’t expect him to be the main villain. They’ve been teasing us with Doc Connors for two movies…will the Lizard finally rear his ugly head in movie three?

Shrek 3

Shrek 2 failed to live up to the first movie, but was huuuuuge at the box office. A third installment was inevitable, but have they run out of ideas?

July

Fantastic Four 2

More Jessica Alba in spandex. You can never get enough. Let the villain speculation begin! Is it too soon for Galactus? I’ve been waiting to see the Silver Surfer on the big screen since T2!

Transformers

Eeep! It’s finally coming! And it looks like it’ll be out in time for my 31^st birthday! Can’t….wait….going…to…explode….

Movie Review: Zathura

Last night I enjoyed a rare trip to the cinema with my dad. Fittingly we chose to see the current big family movie - Zathura. The cinema was nearly empty, despite this showing in screen one, and it being a Wednesday (which brings in extra people to the cinema because of the ongoing Orange Wednesdays promotion). Why do I think the cinema was so empty? One word: Jumanji.

As those with good eyesight will be able to see from the poster, the tag line for this movie is "A new adventure from the world of Jumanji." Indeed, this film is adapted from a book by Chris Van Allsburg, who also wrote the book Jumanji was based on (along with The Polar Express). It shares the same basic premise as Jumanji too - a board game essentially comes to life and the players must complete it to escape and return their world to normal. It even includes a character who has been trapped in the game since he played it as a child, just like Jumanji. But this is NOT Jumanji 2 and, personally, I feel that the studio playing up the Jumanji connection has been a mistake. Yes Jumanji was successful, yes it spawned a fairly successful animated series - but people do not have fond enough memories of the film to want to see a sequel. Ultimately the marketing strategy seems to have been to tell the world tat the film is "A lot like Jumanji" and so people are staying away in droves.

It's sad, because Zathura is about a million times better than Jumanji ever was.


Let's start with the cast. The first thing that Zathura gets right that so many other family films gets wrong, is that they've found child actors who can act. Jonah Bobo plays six year old Danny who feels that he's constantly in the shadow of older brother Walter, played by Josh Hutcherson. Ten year old Walter blames Danny's arrival for everything that's wrong in his life, including the divorce of his father (played by Tim Robbins) and mother. Meanwhile, upstairs, is their teenage sister Lisa (Kristen Stewart), a slumbering, hormonal monster. The three young actors, Bobo, Hutcherson and Stewart are completely believable as sibling. They remind me of my own family when we were young, and the two brothers remind me of my own two sons (although my sons are much younger - I think I got a glimpse of what I have to look forward to). Hutcherson is particularly good as a kid struggling with the fact that he's almost, but not quite, a teenager ("I have a girlfriend") and yet he has to spend all his time with a six year old who, in his eyes, just can't do anything. The only disappointment here is that Kristen Stewart spends so much of the film in bed or cryogenically frozen, she's an excellent young actress who really lights up the screen and it's a shame that the script doesn't allow her to do more (oh, and if you find yourself racking your brain trying to figure out what else you've seen her in like I did, she was in Panic Room with Jodie Foster and also starred in the underrated Mission Without Permission/Catch That Kid).

The plot is well paced and while predictable at times, included a twist that genuinely took both my dad and me by surprise (a rare occurence!). While the ultimate end is that the two brothers (and their sister, to a lesser extent) learn to appreciate each other, it never becomes sickly saccarine or overly sentimental.

The effects are excellent, with some really good men-in-suits for the alien Zorgons. Jumanji (hate to mention it again) was notable for it's perhaps misguided use of CGI animals at a time when the technology really wasn't up to it. Hair is hard to do in 3D now, but back when Jumanji was made it was, well, impossible, and it shows. It's interesting then that in Zathura the director has chosen to use more traditional methods to realise the creatures. That said, there are undoubtedly some excellent digital effects in here too.

I hope that word gets around that this film is much more than just another Jumanji. It's really, really good. It's exciting, it's engaging, it's well acted and directed. The effects are breathtaking. It will fire your imagination and make you wish you could explore the Universe.

To close - don't wait for this to be shown on TV, don't even wait for the DVD - go and see it where it's meant to be seen, on the big screen.

Rating: 8/10

A New Look For Eclipse

Derek and I had a very long and productive story conference today (that's a fancy way of saying we chatted online about the book a lot). Now I'm really looking forward to reading #1! We're putting a lot more thought into the pacing of the book and you're going to see the focus more evenly distributed around the members of the team.

While the interior pages of the book are now going to have a more traditional comic book look to them, we discussed keeping the cover art as 3D rendered pieces. As such, that means working up fully textured versions of the new Young Gods models. I thought I'd share the first of these here, so...um....here it is. This is, of course, the new look for Eclipse. In the original version of The Young Gods, Eclipse was sixteen years old. We're revising all the ages downwards for the new version, and so the new Eclipse is now thirteen.

I'll be working on the other characters over the next few days, and I'll post pictures here as I do them. Then I'll start working on some pin-up and cover art to promote the series with.

We've set ourselves a deadline of the start of the Bristol Comic Expo in May to get the first issue complete. By then we will hopefully have a finished book that we can start showing to publishers. It would be great to find a home for The Young Gods in the UK.

The Karate Kid

Forgive me while I pause, for a moment, from reviewing movies and whipping you into a frenzy of excitement over my various comic book projects and simply take on the role of a proud father.

On Friday evening my four year old son, Zak, had his first ever Karate lesson at a local dojo. He loved it. I have never seen him enjoy himself more in his entire four years of life. I loved watching him, it was such a wonderful feeling. At one point during the lesson he stuck his hand up in the air and waited for sensei to call on him. "Yes, Zak, what would you like to say?" His simple, but exuberant reply was, "This is REALLY cool!" He followed all the moves as best he could and paid close attention to the teacher for...well...most of the lesson. He is only four, after all! On the way home he asked me to help him learn to count in Japanese.

It's hard to explain just how this one short hour spent with my son made me feel. I guess...like a dad. What more can you ask for?

You can rest assured that as soon as that white belt gets a red stripe added to it, I'll be posting a fresh picture of my little Karate Kid up on this site. So...my apologies to those of you who come here for the reviews....for those of you who are interested in comics or 3D art...or for the many of you who blunder in here in search of a Fan Club for Skander Keynes...you'll just have to indulge me every once in a while. At least until he reaches 8th Dan....

The Young Gods welcomes new writer!

The reworking of The Young Gods #1 kicked up a gear yesterday as I recruited Derek Hartley to take over the script writing duties for the series.

I think it's only fair that I acknowledge my own weaknesses, and "the words" are definitely not my strongest point when it comes to comic book creation. I'll still be handling the plotting of the series, the first six issues are fairly well plotted out already, but I'm sure that derek will ultimately have a fair amount of input where the plot is concerned too.

I think working with someone else will be both good for me and good for the project. For one thing it will give me more of an incentive to actually get the pages done.

We'll both be attending the Bristol Comic Expo in May and are aiming to have the first issue complete by then so we can pitch it to any publishers that are in attendance.

If anyone else is interested in getting involved in The Young Gods, I'm open to any and all offers. I'd particularly like to find a colorist and a letterer and I'll consider any offers from pencillers.

For now, however, I'd just like to welcome Derek on board and hope that we can raise the quality of the book to the point where it's picked up by a publisher.

I'll continue to post regular updates on our progress here.

First look at The Young Gods new look!

This is my first attempt at my new method of creating the artwork for The Young Gods. The "pencils" were created using Poser, printed out and inked using the traditional method of brush and ink, then scanned and coloured in Photoshop. I'm not 100% happy with the inking, but it'll take me a while to get used to inking over the Poser images.

As you can see the biggest changes are Eclipse and Outrage, who are both now the ages that I orginally intended them to be. Everyone's a bit younger really, Juice is cuter, and Impact is a bit sassier. Paladin is fairly unchanged, his costume ahs been simplified, and Revenant is the most unchanged, although he's lost his shirt and his clothes and hair are now white.

All in all I'm fairly pleased with this is a "proof-ofconcept" kind of thing. The next step is to produce some sequential pages...well...the first issue...to see how it works.

As usual, click on the picture for the full size version.

The First Annual Cyber Hellfire Club Motion Picture Awards "The Cybies"

The nominations for the Oscars have just been released. Now, I usually disagree with the Oscar nominations, and with the winners too, but this time I've been left astounded by one category in particular: Best Visual Effects. The nominations are Chronicles of Narnia, King Kong and War of the Worlds. The effects in Narnia were good but there were several shots that were less than perfect, the effects in Kong were VERY patchy, with at least one sequence being awful; and as for War of the Worlds...the effects were good but certainly didn't stick in the memory. This would all be fair enough if there weren't two films whose effects really stood out as head and shoulders above everything else. The effects in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire were outstanding, and should have received a nomination at least. However, it's the lack of a nomination for Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith that really beggars belief. Not only should this film have been nominated for Best Visual Effects, it should win, hands down. Firstly there's the consistency of quality throughout the film. The effects in Episode 3 are consistently good...unlike King Kong which has some outstanding scenes, but is let down by a lot of sub-standard work. Secondly, there's the sheer quality itself. The opening shots alone set the bar for quality of SFX at a new high point. Personally, I feel that ILM managed to capture perfectly that same jaw dropping feeling that the opening shots of Episode 4 created.

So, without further ado I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and present the First Annual Cyber Hellfire Club Motion Picture Awards....The Cybies!

Best Leading Actor

Ralph Feinnes - The Constant Gardener

Best Supporting Actor

Skander Keynes - The Chronicles of Narnia

Best Leading Actress

Ziyi Zhang - Memoirs of a Geisha

Best Supporting Actress

Rachel Weisz - The Constant Gardener

Best Animated Feature

Howl's Moving Castle

Best Art Direction

Memoirs of a Geisha

Best Cinematography

Batman Begins

Best Costume Design

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Best Director

Mike Newell - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Best Makeup

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Best Music (Score)

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Best Picture

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

Best Sound

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Best Visual Effects

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Best Writing (Adapted)

The Constant Gardener

Best Writing (Original)

Serenity

Movie Review: The Punisher

Well, I know I said I wasn't going to start reviewing movies I'd seen on TV, but after seeing this on Sky Movies I just had to comment.

Released in 2004, The Punisher stars Thomas Jane (Deep Blue Sea) as the titular character out for revenge when crime boss Howard Saint (John Travolta) has his entire family killed. The is the Punisher's second big screen outing after 1989's attempt starring Dolph Lundrgren was a fairly big flop.

This more recent effort didn't exactly set the box office alight either, but it has obviously raked in enough money to justify a sequel, as IMDB lists Punisher 2 as currently being in pre-production.

I didn't really know what to expect from this film. It certainly wasn't very heavily promoted in the UK, and the buzz surrounding the film at the time of its release was generally poor. Indeed, Sky Movies gave it one star out of five, which prompted my wife to comment , "Are you sure you want to watch this?"

What followed was a very strange, very flawed but very watchable movie.

As is fairly obvious, I'm a big comic book fan, and a fan of Marvel Comics in particular. However, The Punisher is a character I've never been particularly familiar with. I know his origin story, his look, I've read a few comics with him in them, but that's it. So I can't comment too much on how true to the comics this was, or whether the supporting cast from the movie were drawn from the comic.

Firstly this film is very dark, very violent, and very, very graphic. We're talking multiple, graphic stabbing, beatings and shootings. Lots of blood.

Secondly, this film is very funny. We're talking a comedy, fat neighbour here.

Occasionally the violence and humour are mixed...those moments are particularly strange.

Thomas Jane fits the role of Frank Castle very well, but this movie does commit one of the cardinal sins of comic-book movies. This film is The Punisher's origin story. Pick up the first issue of just about any comic book, it's highly unlikely that it will be the character's origin story, at best you'll get glimpses of the character's origin in flash backs. For me, The Punisher in particular would work much better this way. His origin is so intense...that...for me...introducing us to the happy, likeable Frank Castle and his perfect family, and then killing them all and destroying him before our eyes is a little bit too intense. My personal view is that it would have been more interesting to introduce us to The Punisher first, and then explore what made him that way. That also saves us from the "Crumbs, I've been watching The Punisher for half an hour now and there's still no sign of The Punisher..." effect. That would also give you the option of starting the movie with a big, set-piece action sequence starring your title character, which is always a plus point.

I guess I should mention John Travolta, who is in this movie. I can't stand John Travolta. I liked Pulp Fiction, but that was more in spite of him rather than because of him. He's ok in this film, but, well, check out this article on Scientology from the Conspiracy Archive to see why I have a general dislike of him.

So, a flawed but watchable film. I'll be interested to see what they do with the sequel.

Rating: 6/10

An Experiment In Colour

Well, I was bored at lunchtime the other day so I decided to try and figure out how to colour comic book pages. Mainly meant as just a bit of fun, I'm also expecting to have to colour the new version of Young Gods #1 if I ever get it finished, so I wanted to try and figure out exactly how to go about it. For a first attempt I'm fairly pleased with the results. As usual, click on the image for a larger version (Pencils: Ryan Stegman Inks & Colours: Ian Sharman).

On the inking side, I've just completed two pages that Ryan Stegman sent me and I'm pretty pleased with my progress. It's all starting to click into place now. Tonight I'll be making a start on a page that Inaki Miranda has sent me, which will be a challenge as it's in a totally different style.

It looks like I'll definitely be attending the Bristol Comic Expo in May. I'll be taking the train there and staying at the Hotel for the weekend. I'm really looking forward to it as I'll be able to meet up with everyone I've met via the Markosia site and hopefully introduce myself to a few other companies...assuming there's anyone there to introduce myself to! Hopefully I can come away from it with a few more good contacts, and maybe some inking work. We'll see....

Movie Review: Memoirs of a Geisha

I was not particularly keen on seeing this. It's not that I only like big blockbuster action films, after all I raved about Constant Gardener, it's more that I wasn't in the mood. Plus, I know it's the second film to be directed by Rob Marshall, whose only other directing credit was for Chicago...which I thought was awful. Also, I was tired, fell asleep during my second viewing of Underowlrd Evolution the night before and have a ton of work that I really should have been getting on with at home. But still, having been accused on many occasions of refusing to see films that my wife wants to see, I felt duty bound to sit through this. I'm glad I did.

The film has had seriously mixed reviews. Based on a novel by Arthuer Golden, it tells the story of a young girl who is sold to a Geisha house and fights to find love and independence against a backdrop of misery and abuse. Set in mid 20th Century Japan, some have criticised the film for casting three Chinese women in the three leading female parts. Others have criticised its highly idealised depiction of a Japan that never really existed. Yet more have criticised the decision to have the cast deliver their lines in a heavily accented English. I have to confess that I viewed this film from an entirely Western perspective am not possibly qualified to criticise it on any of these grounds. I was not aware that the actresses were Chinese, and have no idea why they were cast instead of Japanese actresses. From my point of view, it doesn't matter, and didn't affect my enjoyment of the film one bit. As for the depiction of Japan...this is Hollywood, Americans struggle to depict their own culture and country accurately. I've learnt to live with Hollywood's depiction of Britain and British life and to just enjoy the story. I've also had to put up with Hollywood casting Irishmen to play Scots, the Welsh to play English, etc, etc. Considering the fact that of the actors that have played that great English icon James Bond, one has been Scottish and another Irish, I think we just have to accept that Hollywood is just like that. As for the final point about the accents...well...I would agree that at times it seems a little odd, but in general it's not too jarring. It's clear that this film is portraying a very Western view of the "Mysteries of the Orient" and as such, it succeeds. It's not supposed to be a realistic portrayal and shouldn't be judged as such.

Most reviews I've read have focused on Ziyi Zhang's portrayal of the adult Sayuri, which is outstanding, but it is as a child that we first get to know this woman and become engaged in her story. The young Suzuka Ohgo is captivating as the little girl who is sold without knowing what is happening to her. Feel and understand her pain as she is seperated from her sister and thrust into a totally alien environment. An environment where she is hated by older Geisha Hatsumomo (Li Gong) purely because she is pretty, and therefore a threat.

The plot is complex and winding often leading us down the path of despair as we believe that all of Sayuri's hopes of being with the Chairman, the object of her affections, have been dashed forever. Ken Watanabe is, as always, outstanding in this role. Of course, the presence of Watanabe-San in any film is a cue for my wife to spend the whole movie sighing.

The real outstanding set-piece moment in this film comes when Sayuri performs a dance in the theatre. This is an attempt to make her the most desirable Geisha in Japan, so that she will attract the highest bidder for her virginity. This partiular subject is handled very tastefully, with an incredible degree of subtlety. The entire film is very tastefully done, considering the subject matter, with no sex and no nudity. Returning to the dance - it is purely breathtaking as she dances in a rain of petals, with a particularly effective lighting effect at the end of the dance, as the petals turn red and look like a rain of blood.

The entire film is beautifully shot and wonderuflly acted and really should be seen on the big screen to be fully appreciated. This is another film to take your other half to and rack up loads of brownie points for seeing a movie they want to see, while thoroughly enjoying it yourself!

Rating: 9/10

Movie Review: Underworld Evolution

Underworld came and went so quickly at my local multiplex that we missed it before we even knew it was out. I couldn't wait for it to come out on DVD and it has since become an essential part of my DVD collection. I'm still trying to justify to my wife that we need to get the extended version, but she's never been too keen on us having two versions of the same film. Still, not wanting to make the same mistake twice, we made sure we got to see this latest chapter in the war between Vampires and Lycans on opening night.

I had mixed feelings going into this. I love the first film, it's brilliant, but that left me with a mixture of high expectations and dread where the second film was concerned. I know the creators always envisioned this as a trilogy from the start, but could they stick to that vision given the higher budget that the success of the first film brought?

The answer is a categorical YES! This film can immediately take it's place among a select elite of films - it's a sequel that's better than the first film. Basically, every element of the first film that was good is built upon and improved. The stage has already been set, so there's no time wasted here. The film picks up literally seconds after the original ends. It's a true sequel, not a rehash just to cash in on the first film's success.

It's really hard to say too much about the film without giving away many of the suprises, but suffice it to say that one of the strengths of this series is the excellent cast. After the death of Bill Nighy's Viktor at the end of the first film (Nighy makes a small but sufficiently hammy cameo appearance during a flashback to the 13th century), the last remaining Vampire Lord, Marcus is awakened...and he has a very old score to settle. Played by Tony Curran, probably best known as The Invisible Man from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Marcus is the right blend of charismatic and dangerously unstable. Wheares Nighy's Viktor was evil suppressed and under control, Marcus is wild and out of control.

Despite not appearing in the trailer, Scott Speedman is back as Michael Corvin, the Lycan/vampire hybrid who has won Selen's heart. He plays a fairly major role in the film but I did feel that one of the film's flaws is that it didn't sufficiently explore just what he was and what he can do.

Lastly, of course, there's Selene herself, played by the gorgeous Kate Beckinsale. A heroine tough enough to appeal to women, and sexy enough to appeal to men too. What does Underworld have that Blade doesn't? I think the answer would have to be the lovely Kate (actually, to be fair, Underworld outperforms the Blade series in just about every department).

I'm off to see this again tonight, it's that good.

Rating: 9/10

Elephants From Norway Go Mad In Winter

"Oh, good grief!" Will probably be the response of the few people out there who know what this is.

To be as brief as possible, when I was eighteen I decided to write a book. The surprise was that I actually finished it. With a cast including Mad Elephants, Angels, Demons, Nuns and Militant Kumquats, it is, at times, a little odd.

While it's far from being the best writing in the world it is, at least, genuinely funny at times (well, I think it is...).

What it definitely is, is ten years old, and so there are numerous pop-culture and sporting references that are seriously out of date.
I guess I'm making it accessible here because it is, after all, a piece of me. Hopefully some people will read it and it'll make them laugh. I really don't expect anything more of it than that.

So, without further ado, here it is, a novel, by Ian Sharman: Elephants From Norway Go Mad In Winter

Note: It's probably best if you save the file to your hard drive and then open it, rather than opening it in your browser, as the text doesn't wrap in the browser window which makes it almost impossible to read.

Two Hundred Hits and Counting!

Well, here's to the first two hundred hits!

The site is beginning to take shape now and it's starting to receive a steady stream of visitors.

Internet Explorer users may have noticed things going a bit odd over the last couple of days. I got the site just how I wanted it, and then decided to just have a quick check to see how it looked in IE. Oh dear....everything had gone a bit wonky. I personally use Firefox both at home and at work, and the site displayed perfectly. Still, everything's fixed now, and the code's a little bit tidier too. I would recommend Firefox though, not just for viewing this site, but in general.

I think I've made a decision regarding The Young Gods. I'm going to completely redo #1. As much as I was very happy with how #1 turned out, it really isn't what I had in mind when I started. It was a huuuuuge learning process, and, as such, I feel I can now better achieve what I originally set out to do. I've still got a lot of setting up to do, but I'm hoping to get a lot of work done on the book this week. It'll end up having a lot more of a traditional comic-book look to it.

I'll post images as soon as I can.

'Till then, I'm just going to enjoy hitting the 200 hit milestone.

Young Gods featured in Daz3D's Gallery of the Month!

Yes, today's good news is that a picture of Impact fighting the security drones from Young Gods #1 was selected to feature in Daz 3D's Gallery of the Month for January 2006. Basically, that means a little bit of exposure for me, and a $25 voucher to spend on the site. I'm chuffed because those gallery of the moth images are all pretty amazing, and it's great to have my work be judged as equal to that.

I almost entitled this post "OK, what's with all the ads?" because I also want to explain...well...why there are all these ads all of a sudden.

Firstly, there are the Ads by Google. Basically, Blogger has recently added a facility for me to quickly and simply integrate ads generated by Google which will be generally relevant to this site. As you can see, they are just a single line of text ads and are as unobtrusive as ads can get. Why have them at all? Why does anyone put adverts up anywhere? To make some money. I'm not really expecting to make much, if anything, from these adverts, but I do put a lot of time and effort into maintaining this site (admittedly mostly for my own amusement) and it really wouldn't hurt to get a little something out of it.

Secondly, there are the new Daz3D ads. Basically, I've signed up to the new Daz3D affiliate program. That means that, yes, I will make some money if you click one of these ads and then buy something from Daz. However, making myself money is only a part of why those ads are there. If it wasn't for Daz3D there would be no Young Gods, and if there were no Young Gods then I would never have hooked up with the guys from Markosia, and if I hadn't have hooked up with the guys from Markosia then I wouldn't be inking again...and so on... Basically, I really want to support Daz3D because it's a fantastic resource and I would genuinely recommend them to anyone wanting to get into 3D artwork.

So, there you go, I didn't want to stick the ads up without commenting, and I certainly didn't want anyone to think that I'm in any way "selling out" by plastering ads everywhere. This is still a very young site and we've had relatively few hits, but the site's popularity is growing. I'm fascinated seeing where people are accessing the site from, and what keywords they've used when searching Google or MSN that have led them here. Quite a few people have ended up here because they're fans of Skander Keynes, who plays Edmund in The Chronicles of Narnia. I must admit to finding this a little odd, but hey. (And, of course, it's no coincidence that I've just mentioned him again, either). The really cool thing is that over the last few days I've started to see people coming to the site after specifically searching for my name or for the site itself, so things are starting to take off.

Oh, and lastly, I finally found out who the mystery Spanish person is. So...here's a big hello to Inaki Miranda! Inaki is the penciller on The Lexian Chronicles, published by ... of course ... Markosia! To bring things full circle - you'll be able to see both my3D art and Inaki's pencils in the forthcoming Lexian Chronicles tradepaperback, due out in March.

Movie Review: The Producers

What is wrong with people?

I've just been reading online that, supposedly, loads of people have been walking out of this movie. The critics have panned it and the word on the street is that it's awful.

To be honest, I did get the impression while I was watching it that while half of the audience were pissing themselves with laughter the other half were thinking "What the hell is this?!"

To be honest, I've never understood the whole walking out of a movie thing. It's the cause of a fair bit of friction between my wife and me. She says that part of the reason we got Unlimited cinema passes was so that we could walk out on bad movies without feeling that we've wasted any money...but I still won't walk out. Even if she's sitting there complaining that she's bored and huffing every five seconds. The problem is that no matter how bad a movie is, once I've got more than about twenty minutes in I want to know how it ends. Mary Kate & Ashley's "New York Minute" was on TV the other night and we put it on while we ate because we wanted to watch something we wouldn't mind missing the end of because we both had work to do later that evening. And I was STILL reluctant to stop watching it.

Anyway, that's all a moot point with The Producers because we both loved it. We've both grown up with Mel Brooks films. I have clear memories of being sat in front of Blazing Saddles at a very early age so that I could enjoy the campfire scene (parp!) and, of course, being a family of Star Wars fans, we all went to see Spaceballs at the cinema. But be it Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety or Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Mel Brooks films were a staple part of both of our childhood movie diets.

Which makes it all the more odd that I haven't actually seen Brooks' classic 1968 original movie The Producers, which almost makes me feel unqualified to write this reveiw of the new movie of the musical of that original classic. Of course, I was minus eight years old when it first hit cinemas, so I have a bit of an excuse...

This new version sees the hit broadway musical based on the 1968 film brought to the big screen with much of the cast from the stage version intact. Both Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick are outstanding in the two lead roles, but the real surprise is Uma Thurman...who knew she could sing and dance? Apparently not even her... Oh, and it's no surprise that Will Ferrell is totally off the wall insane as the neo-Nazi writer of "Springtime for Hitler." Apparently he begged them for the part.

Which brings me to one of the few sticking points in this movie. While Mel Brooks remains one of the few people in the world who can get away with lampooning Nazi Germany in this style, there are still times when it leaves you feeling a little uncomfortable. You know...when you catch yourself doubled over with laughter...at Nazis...and...um...yeah...

Gary Beach is also outrageous as the supremely over-the-top-camp director of "Springtime" who ends up playing Hitler after Will Ferrel's character breaks his leg. Some might argue that Brooks can get away with the Nazi jokes because he's a Jew, but maybe he can't get away with the gay jokes because he's straight (unless there's something I don't know...). But, really, the scene where we meet the director and his partner provides some of the funniest moments in the movie, and, ultimately, it's setting up the joke of having a gay man play Hitler in the campest style you can imagine.

This film is brilliant. Very, very funny and entertaining throughout. Plus it has Uma Thurman acting sexy. Yum.

The generally accepted view is that Mel Brooks isn't funny anymore. This movie puts that lie to rest. Looking at his filmography, that opinion seems to be based on Dracula: Dead and Loving It, which is one movie that I did switch off before the end (actually, after only about five minutes...ugh...). It would be more accurate to say that Mel Brooks doesn't make movies anymore, hopefully this film marks the end of that trend.

Rating: 8/10

Look to the Skies

Chemtrails - Predictions

This article may seem a bit obscure to some of you, but it's a topic that I keep coming into contact with.

I sincerely hope it's all paranoid delusion because the alternative is unthinkable. However, we seem to have seen a series of unthinkable events over the past six or seven years.

If this guy's right then it would seem that whoever is behind it has also set up the perfect excuse for a worlwide pandemic - avian flu.

As I said, though, it's probably all paranoid delusion...

...I hope...

(By the way, to find out more on this ubject I'd recommend clicking the "Conspiracy Archive" link to the right).

Inky Fingers

I've been having a great time this week visiting an old passion of mine.

It's ok, my wife doesn't need to be worried, I'm talking about inking comic books.

A brush, a pot of ink and a page of exquisite pencils (courtesy of Ryan Stegman) and I've been in heaven. I don't intend on putting my drawing board away again, ever. I'm back for good now. I'm just going to keep working at it until someone starts paying me to ink. I just have to find some more pencils to practice on...

Meanwhile, enjoy the sneaky peak at my inks here.

Movie Review: Just Like Heaven

This probably isn't going to be a long review as I saw this a few days ago now so it's not quite as fresh in my mind as usual.

I went into this movie with fairly low expectations, which is usually a good thing as it wasn't likely to disappoint me (unlike King Kong...). I've seen quite a few films starring Reece Witherspoon and they've all been fairly enjoyable, but I wouldn't have gone out of my way to see a film starring her before.

The basic plot os that a landscape gardner (Mark Ruffalo), who is getting over his wife's death, moves into an apartment that was formerly occupied by a workaholic doctor played by Reece Witherspoon. Soon after moving in he encounters her "ghost" and after some initial anomosity towards each other they fall in love. I won't say much more than that about the plot as I don't want to spoil the twist (my wife figured it out about five minutes into the movie and spoiled it for me...ah well...).

I've read some critics complaining that the premise is not very realistic. Ummm....well...no...but...uh...it's a movie. Not only that, but I expect these same people praised Batman Begins for being so realistic. I don't need to spell out the absurdity of that, do I?

So, yes, this movie is silly, and light and fluffy and sweet. It also made me cry, a lot. Both sad and happy tears. To me, any movie that can elicit an emotional response like that has got to be good.

I don't want to go on about this film too much, but I would heartily recommend it. the cast are excellent, with some wonderful chemistry between Witherspoon and Ruffalo. Witherspoon is especially good and you can really understand why he falls in love with her. The supporting cast are also superb. Donal Logue provides a lot of laughs as a slightly dodgy shrink, but the stand-out performance is from Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) as weird book store owner Darryl. Early on I suspected that he was going to "make the movie" (as in, be the best thing in it) but he was actually slightly underused.

Take your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to the cinema and snuggle up in front of this movie, you won't be disappointed.

Rating: 9/10

So Little Time...

Wow, what a couple of weeks!

Let me start by wishing everyone a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

2006 is shaping up to be a very exciting year for me which I sincerely hope will see me well on the way to a long hoped for career change.

I'm going to catch up with some exciting news today, even though I have a movie review pending (I recently saw the excellent Just Like Heaven, I'll post more about it later, but in case I don't, it gets 9/10, go see it!).

To the exciting news! Well, the first bit of news is not so great, Markosia won't be publishing The Young Gods, which is a shame, but not a total shock. That said, I really don't have the time to work on it right now, because of the exciting news that is to follow. I'm not too sure what the future will be for The Young Gods right now, I have some thoughts but nothing fully formed. If there is to be a future for the book it will probably be completely redone with a new art team, maybe with me just producing cover art, but the problem there is finding an art team!

Anyway, enough of that, on to the good news!

The good news is that Morkosia still like my stuff and have asked me to come up with some variant covers/pin-ups for their ongoing title, The Lexian Chronicles, featuring the main character from that book, Reena (who can be seen in the pic' above, expertly pencilled by the very talented Ryan Stegman). This has been quite a challenge for me as it's meant using Poser to produce a picture of a pre-existing character. I've had to replicate her costume and her look, which has been fairly tricky. I'm quite happy with the results (which I won't share with you as they're for Markosia's eyes only right now) but I might be purchasing a better leather texture...we'll see. Hopefully they'll like what they see and my artwork will be gracing the cover of a future issue of The Lexian Chronicles, but even if it doesn't it's been great fun and a rewarding challenge. It's definitely stretched and improved my Poser skills and forced me to dabble in the murky world of re-texturing.

That's not all the good news though! Some of you may know that many years ago I trained as a comic book inker and tried to break into the industry that way. Tim Townsend, possibly the best inker in the world, was kind enough to spend far more time than I could ever have hoped for guiding and teaching me and I got to a point where both he and I felt I was good enough to ink professionally. However, for reasons that I'll never know the doors stayed firmly shut and I ended up working in graphic design (nowhere near as fun). Anyway, flash forward to the present and I find myself chatting online with Midnight Kiss penciller Ryan Stegman about inking. He doesn't currently work with an inker and was commenting on how hard it is to find a really good one. Oh, and he mentioned that his dream was to have Tim Townsend ink his work. OK, to cut a long story short I've dusted off my drawing board, bought a new brush and a fresh pot of ink and I'm working on some inking samples for him. It's been far too long since I've inked but it's going really well so far. I forgot why I used to love inking - because I'm an inker.

It finally feels like all those doors that slammed shut in my face the last time I was trying to break into comics have finally started to open a crack. The difference this time is that I'm older and wiser. Not only does that actually improve the quality of my work, but it helps to keep me firmly grounded. If nothing else, I'm having a lot of fun right now (working 'till gone three in the morning, but having fun) and that in and of itself is great. Anything else is a bonus.

Yes, of course, it would be great to be inking professionally with a healthy side line in producing covers and pin-ups. That is the ultimate goal, the dream. Maybe do some writing too. But that's the future, right here, right now, I'm having a blast.

Movie Review: King Kong

I've read a number of reviews of Peter Jackson's King Kong over the last week or so and they have all been overwhelmingly positive. The only negative comment any of them have really made is that it might be a little too long. I'm afraid this is a gross understatement.

Both my wife and I are HUGE fans of Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy and devoured the extended editions on DVD with all their many extras. Jackson maanged to craft a series of films that lasts for well over twelve hours and still leaves you wanting more, so when I first heard that his take on the Giant Ape clocked in at just over three hours long I wasn't too worried. Even the extended versions of the three LOTR films never really drag and you certainly never feel that any scene is uneccessary so I felt confident that every minute of King Kong would be thoroughly entertaining.

However, this is not the case, and it shouldn't really have come as any surprise, considering the source material. With LOTR Jackson was drawing on a vast amount of source material. Tolkein's masterpiece is both rich and vivid with an enormous amount of back (and side) story to draw from. Tolkein crafted the entire history of Middle Earth from its creation (in The Silmarillion) and the many appendices included in the three volumes further flesh out the world and the character's back story (indeed, many people objected to jackson's insertion of the Aragorn/Arwen romance...but it's all there in the appendices!). Despite stretching past the twelve hour mark, Jackson's dilemma with LOTR was always what to leave out, and he did, indeed, leave out a lot of good stuff. With King Kong, however, Jackson's source material is a film half the length of his own, and so he has added much, and this is where the movie really fails.

But wait, before get too deeply into the movies failings, let's talk about where it succeeds. Jackson initially starts padding at the start of the film, and it's a full hour before Kong even appears. However, this is really not a bad thing at all. He does an admirable job of introducing all the characters and provides a plausible and compelling justification for their trip to Skull Island. Jack Black particularly stands out here as movie producer/director Carl Denham. Here he proves that there's much more to him than being a funny fat man and I hope he continues to get more serious roles. Jackson spends the first hour slowly building the tension and so you never really lose interest or start to get bored. You feel that you're constantly building to something and as the ship gets closer and closer to Skull Island your anticipation continues to increase.

When we reach the island Jackson gets out his full box of tricks and does what he does best - shows us something we've never really seen before. The island looks stunning, both terrifying and beautiful at the same time.

There are problems here however, it does look good but every now and again the visuals fall below the very high level they've set themselves. The brontosauras chase, particularly, has some really awful green screen moments. Indeed, some are so bad that you wonder if they're not some kind of weird Jackson homage to old school effects.

It's also while we're on the island that you receive a rather worrying revelation...you don't actually care about what happens to any of these people. That's not entirely true, you do actually care about Jack Black's character, but he's supposed to be the villain of the piece! None of our heroes are particularly engaging and that's a real problem in a film like this. The whole point of this movie is that they are constantly in peril and we are supposed to be on the edge of our seats worrying about what will happen to them.

Worst of all, we don't really connect with Kong. One reveiwer I read praised Jackson for presenting Kong as an animal and not a monster. To me, however, that's his biggest mistake. Kong is never anything more than an animal in this film, and so we never really engage with him as a character. He needs to have a real personality, a real character but instead he's just a beast, acting on instinct.

This really becomes a problem as we move into the movies climax, which is also where the pacing of the film really falls apart. We know what's coming, everyone knows what happens to Kong in the end, so surely we should get there in a timely and action packed manner? After all, there can be no suspense, we know what's coming, right? Well, not in peter Jackson's eyes. The finale is so long and drawn out that I...I fell asleep. I never fall asleep at the cinema! Not even in the worst films! As Kong began his ascent of the Empire State Building I started blowing Zs at the ceiling. A timely nudge from my wife ensured that I didn't miss too much of the movie...I'm not sure if it wouldn't have been better if she'd left me to sleep. Kong can't speak. He's an ape. So Kong and Ann stare at each other, in a deep and meaningful way. Except, as I said, Kong is never anything more than an animal in this film, so, really, they just stare at each other a lot. While planes fly round them, occaisionally shotting at Kong. He's big, so it takes a lot of bullets to bring him down. Lots and lots and lots and lots and....zzzz....sorry, drifted off again.

The biggest problem is that, rather than thinking the people are being terribly mean by hounding Kong to his destruction, you're really left thinking that,a ctually, it's probably quite a good idea. Jackson has Kong wantonly and violently killing people throughout the movie. At one point Kong bites off someones head and then throws the body away, and at the theatre at the end he picks up Ann's stand in and, seeing that it's not her, just throws her away. Beauty has not tamed the savage beast, Kong is not clamed by his love for Ann, if anything it drives him to even more violent and bestial acts. You can't even argue that he would have been ok if Denham had left him on Skull Island. The people of Skull Island lived in fear of Kong and were obviously making regular human sacrifices to him. Kong is a monster and, ironically, if Jackson had just given into that, rather then trying to show him as a simple animal, we might have felt more for him at his death.

This review is threatening to become as long as the movie so I'll start to wrap it up now. Ultimately, this is not a bad movie, there's an awful lot to enjoy here. There's a good one and a half to two hours of great entertainment here, more than enough for a thrilling blockbuster movie. I feel the true problem is that after the vast success of LOTR, no one at the studio was prepared to sit Jackson down and say "This film is too long, you need to make some cuts." Jackson proved with LOTR that you can make a movie that lasts three or eevn four hours without boring people, but he's also proved with King Kong that not every movie needs to be that long.

Rating: 7/10

Movie Review: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

Narnia.

Wow.

I guess I should write more of a review than that. Hmmm...

In my opinion, there are three authors who have so convincingly and completely managed to create the world in which their characters live that you accept that they have no choice in what they write because that is simply what happens. These three authors are JRR Tolkein, JK Rowling and CS Lewis.

If you want to send me hate mail because I've included JK Rowling in that list then kindly direct it to goawayyoufool@aol.com.

It's clear from this that to become a literary genius you must only be known by your initials and your surname. But that's really besides the point.

Some may criticise this film for being slow in places... my point is simply that it is not slow... this is how these events happened. (Yes... I know it's not real... [ok, it is real, but the film isn't...]).

You can tell by this poorly structured review that I'm never likely to be considered a literary genius. Mind you, if both Charles Dickens and Emily Bronte can be considered literary genius's (geni?) then it's quite possible that anyone could.

I grew up with the Chronicles of Narnia. By that I don't simply mean that I read them as a child and I enjoyed them. I grew up with them, they were an integral part of my upbringing. My parents both loved the books and my dad read them all to me at bed time for what seemed like my entire childhood. He also played me the radio adaptation of The Lord of the Rings, but Lewis always had more of an appeal than Tolkein. Despite my short stature and hairy feet I have never particularly identified myself with Frodo, the Pevensie children, however, are a completely different matter. My oldest sister was most responsible, however, for ensuring that the Chronicles of Narnia were more than just books for me. She painstakingly traced the maps from the books and combined them together into a complete map of Narnia. These days a fantasy novel isn't complete without a map in the front, but when I was a child these maps were really something special. They helped bring the books to life because close study showed that the world of Narnia really did extend beyond the bounds of the books. It felt like a real, living, breathing world.

This isn't, of course, the first screen adaptation of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. When I was a little buy, we had to make do with what was, really, a quite awful cartoon, where the Pevensie children all wore flares and Lucy was blonde. Still, although generally rubbish, it was better than nothing. It was magical because it was Narnia. Then there was the BBC adaptation. Hmmm. Some people really loved this, but, personally, I feel that casting a fat, ugly kid as Lucy was a fairly unforgivable mistake. Also, the animatronic Aslan was just....well...an animatronic Lion. No matter how well done it is it's never going to be Aslan.

So, we come to this latest effort. Oh boy. It's so good it hurts. Let's deal with one important issue first - why make The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe first? For some people this is a moot point, they made it first because it's the first book. By this they mean that it wa sthe first book set in Narnia to be published. However, Lewis himself admitted that he's not entirely sure what order he wrote them in, and that the order in which they happen is probably the best order to read them. there is no wrong or right order though, and the film makers seem to have chosen the order of publication. This probably makes commercial sense because The Lion, The Wicth and The Wardrobe is by far the best known of all seven books. That said, I really, really, really want to see an adaptation of The Magician's Nephew, in order of Narnian history is should come first, but in order of publication it's book 6, which means I could have a looooong wait ahead of me.

Back to the film. The cast are fantastic. The kids...wow... William Moseley is just incredible as Peter. His portrayal of the growth in his character from boy to High King is just superb. But the kids playing Edmund, Susan and Lucy are equally as good. Edmund is especially hard to get right because you have to hate him at the start but deeply care for him by the end. Young Skander Keynes doesn't let us down. Anna Popplewell is totally believable as the sceptic, Susan, and has that "English Rose" kind of innocent beauty. Little Georgie Henley steals the show, of course, as Lucy. It's quite possible that she's actually cuter than a button.

The voice acting si also superb, with Ray Winstone, Dawn French and Rupert Everett standing out, but never over-playing their parts. The real casting genius though is a part which they really struggled with - Aslan.

Liam Neeson really couldn't be any more perfect for this role. His voice is at once soft and gentle but tinged with a hint of hidden danger, he conveys an authority that doesn't come from physical strength but from something deeper...from within.

The effects are fantastic too. Provided by WETA, the people who gave us the stunning visuals in Peter Jackson's LOTR trilogy, they're not quite up to that standard throughout. The key digital characters, however, Aslan, the Beavers, are pretty much perfect and at times you just find yourself completely suspending your disbelief.

So...ahem...I liked it.

Mr Tumnus is great too. Actually, it would be quicker to list what was rubbish.

....

....


Wow. That was a long list. What is rubbish, actually, is that I now have to wait for the next film, and I don't know if they're actually going to make all seven (let's face it, a film of The Horse and His Boy isn't going to be an easy sell). One assumes that Prince Caspian will be next up.

To close, this is a very special film. I'm left wondering if, actually, I haven't had a personal relationship with Jesus all these years...but with Aslan.

[Yes...I know they're the same...shut up...]

Rating: 100/10 (Not a typo).

Hello Spain!

Yes... another post... so sue me....

Just wanted to say "Hello" to the mystery Spanish person who's been visiting the CHC! My webstats for this site aren't hugely detailed, but someone from Spain has checked out the site a couple of times in the last few days.

It's just good to know that I'm not just talking to myself (or just my sister).

So...hello mystery Spanish person!

Kitty Kitty Kitty!!!!!!

Two updates in quick succession...I know...I know...

Anyway, just wanted to post a couple of pics of Ellen Page who will be playing my favourite X-Man (techinically X-Woman....but, hey...)...and, actually, my favourite comic book character of all time...Kitty Pryde!

As you can see Miss Page is pretty cute, but click here and then click on the photo gallery, scroll down and you'll see the first promo pic' Fox have released of her as Kitty Pryde! Yowza! She looks great! I can't post the pic' here 'cos it's a Flash site, so you can't save the pics to your hard drive. As soon as the pic' becomes available I'll post it here though.

I can't wait for X3 now!

X-Men 3 in motion.....

And now you can see for yourself what the new characters in X-Men 3 look like in motion by downloading the trailer here. Looks pretty good to me, but I had to watch it with the sound off...

Oh, you'll need Quicktime 7 to view it too, but there's a link to download it on the site.

First look at X-Men 3!

You can catch a first glimpse of some of the new characters featured in X-Men 3 by clicking here.

Personally I think Kelsey Grammer is looking pretty good as Beast, but it's hard to tell from this shot. That said, all of the costumes in the previous films looked better on screen than in their pre-release publicity shots.

I'm a little less sure of the look for Angel...those wings just don't look very real to me.

Anyway, click the link and see what you think!

DVD Review: The Fantastic Four

You'd be forgiven for thinking that all I ever do is watch movies and work on my comic but you would be, in the whole, correct. I do find time to watch a lot of TV too though, and one of my favourite things to do is to combine watching movies and watching TV by...watching movies on TV. Most people seem to think that my DVD collection is rather large, but, personally, I'm always amazed at just how many films I don't have on DVD. I'm actually also amazed by the films that I do have too...for example, of all three Terminator films, the only one I actually own on DVD is Terminator 3. Some would see this as a travesty and I would tend to agree, but the problem is that a large proportion of the DVDs I own have actually been bought for me, or have been bought by my wife.

Anyway, enough of that, let's get on with the review. Actually, no, before that, as this is my first DVD review for this blog a quick note. I'll be breaking down DVD reviews into two sections - The Movie and Extras. Predictable but I thought I'd point it out. Oh, and I'll be limiting the reviews to movies seen at the cinema and new DVD purchases, because to extend it to movies seen on TV would just get rediculous (and besides, I just can't bring myself to write reviews for The Passion of the Christ and Mission Without Permission today [although I bet those two movies have never been mentioned in the same sentence before]).

The Movie

I'm sure that any readers of this blog out there (Hi Jeannine!) will be fairly familiar with the fact that I like comics, and it's pretty much impossible to like comics without at the very least being familiar with the basic premise of the Fantastic Four. Some years ago some lovely person (possibly the aforementioned Jeannine) bought me the first volume of the Marvel Masterworks series, which reprinted, recoloured and in hardback, the first issues of the Fantastic Four. It's classic Stan and Jack at their best but my comic book collecting focused on Iron Man and then the X-Men, so I haven't read a vast amount of Fantastic Four. The basic premise is, of course, that Reed Richards, his friend Ben Grimm, plus his girlfriend Sue Storm and her brother Johnny go into space where they are bombarded by cosmic rays which bestow upon them superhuman powers. Reed finds that his body can stretch like elastic, Sue can turn invisible and Johnny can burst into flame. All of these powers can be turned on and off at will. The real tragedy is that Ben is turned into a rocky monster....permanently. This is clear early evidence of the genius of Stan Lee, and what was to set Marvel Comics apart from their Distinguished Competition. Most super heroes up to that point had become heroes by choice, or at the very least were happy about the consequences of the freak accident that had left them super powered. Ben Grimm, aka The Thing, was not. The accident effectively ruins his life and he truly hates what he has become. It is only the strength of his friendship with his teammates which really keeps Ben going.

So, the comic book was genius, but is the film any good? Well, actually, yes. Widely criticised for not being as grim and gritty as other recent superhero movies (Daredevil, X-Men, Batman Begins), Fantastic Four is a lot more light hearted and just plain fun. However, this is exactly right for Marvel's first family. The tone of the Fantastic Four has always been a lot lighter than many of Marvel's other books, and a grimmer, grittier feel wouldn't have suited them at all. The performances are generally excellent, Jessica Alba is drop dead gorgeous as Sue Storm, the action is exciting and the effects are stunning. This movie is, above all, fun.

Perfect? No. Not by a long chalk. The Fantastic Four commits one of the worst comic book movie sins there is - tying the origins of the heroes and villains together for no good reason. In the comic book Victor Von Doom is not caught up in the same accident as the four heroes. Yes, he was at college with Reed, but his face was disfigured while he was dabbling in the occult (I seem to recall he was trying to contact his mother) and he creates a suit of armour to hide his hideous face. His powers are a combination of technological (his suit) and mystical (his occult powers). I gues this was deemed all too complicated for the American movie going public, and, besides, you can't have someone dabbling in the occult in a kids film, can you? So, while our four heroes are fairly spot on, we are left with a Doom who is not really Doom. One of Marvel's most iconic villains is reduced to a greedy, power-mad business man/scientist. This is not Doom (it's more like Norman Osbourne). This is a shame, because Doom should be a lot more scary than this. Of course, some might argue that George Lucas already did a much better screen version of Doctor Doom back in 1977.

There are a few other problems too, and I'm going to highlight two of them here. The first is Ben Grimm's fiance. Most reviewers seem to have referred to her as his wife but I noticed last night that it's an engagement ring she returns to him, not a wedding ring. Firstly, I'm not convinced she's necessary at all. I think we're all capable of understanding how hard it's going to be for Ben to fit in after his change without having to see him rejected by this woman. Besides, I don't buy that he would be with someone so shallow in the first place. Secondly, the way she just appears at the end of the action sequence on the bridge and throws the ring at him is just...odd. It doesn't work, it doesn't make ANY sense.

The other prolem is...in an attempt to reverse the process that gave them powers Reed recreates the cosmic storm in his lab. If he's capable of this...why did they have to go into space in the first place? Now, that's a plot hole big enough to drive a truck through.

Despite some major flaws, it's still a good movie and is definitely worth watching.

Extras

As I said earlier, a lot of the DVDs I own are bought for me, and this is no exception. Therefore this is the one disc edition and not the two disc edition, so the extras are a bit sparse. I haven't listened to the commentary yet but I've read that it's very good. The only real other extra here is Jessica Alba's video diary of the FF press tour. Yes, that's right, the press tour. If it wasn't for the fact that she's so damn gorgeous this would be a perfect cure for insomnia. There is absolutely nothing of interest here...at all. Lastly, there's the crushingly disappointing preview of X-Men 3 which doesn't include a single shot of the movie and really is of no interest to anyone other than, maybe, Avi Arad's close friends and family.

Rating: 7/10

Grab a Bargain!

Hello!

Fellow fans of Gillingham FC might want to check this out for a chance to grab a real bargain.

Well, it would be funny if it weren't so depressing.